Jabez (1 Chronicles 4:9-10)

It's 2:00 am as we speak(or as I write:) I realize that I haven't been writing as much as I would like.
But be reassured that everything is okay. Just been bussy with many things. This weekend I had the priveledge of sharing a word with the youth of my church. Now if you didnt already know I am a christian. My father is a reverend. Now if your not christian...You may feel a urge to ignore this.
But I want to challenge you to just hear me out on my little message.
I read to the youth from 1 Chronicles 4:9-10. This story talkes about a man(or young man) that was called Jabez. Now Jabez had a name that meant Pain. His mother's labor was so painful that she felt a need to mark this baby as an rememberance of her pain. I also believe that it also had to do with there present situation(just my imput) So Jabez was marked from birth to be remember as Pain and suffering. But also he was to be declared for the rest of his life to be pain.
I don't know what name society has placed over you. The media names us, Skinny, fat, ugly, And tells us we are nobodies. Sometimes we live with memories, times when we can recall a family member who had called us a degrading name. Or maybe in a past abusive relationship or marriage someone really marked us.... and even may have branded us.
 Sometimes the degrading  names  causes many to go down a destructive path. 
Jabez had a choice either he could let this name determine his future or he could choose to live according to what God wanted for his future. But despite of his name the bible says he was more hanorable than all his brothers. He lived a life worthy enough of being recorded in the most famous book in the World!
Jabez may have had a brother who was better looking than him. Or a brother who was more intelligent. Or one who was just a ladies man. But the bible doesnt stop to record them or give them honor. But Jabez he lived a life worth recording! If a Bible was written from this time. Could the author stop and say you were more honorable than the most? Would it say, Despite of the name they called them in highschool or in there marriage....They were more honorable than there brothers? Or would you just be another name recorded? Jabez stopped the author who was writing the decendants to write Jabez's story! He lived a life believing that God could bless him despite the name they gave him! And God heard and blessed him. So I encourage you to believe more than what people see for you and declare impossible things! Pray to God the Almighty and you will see...He will answer you...Becuz he sees the heart...Not the outward apperance! He doesnt listen to social statuses or the what society calls worth listening to.

Maturity

As I get older my perspective has changed dramatically. Sometimes I can believe how I view things sometimes. I view maturity as an eye opener. Its like when your looking for the peanut butter in your cabinet and it was in front of your face the whole time. Its like a BAM, in life..
When maturity comes you cant help but ask why didnt I do this before?
Or you ask...Was it this simple all along?
When maturity comes you start to realize that your just not anybody that your actually worth something!
When your mature your able to forgive and let go!!
Maturity opens your eyes to life....
I find myself baffled by soo many things lately...Like the lack of vision our generation...How many of us live for today.... Not realizing that theres a Tommorow that is actually waiting for us!
We live as if we have all the time in the world.
A phrase that truly angers me is Yolo....
You only live Once...
We see kids using it to party and drink...
To get into crime....
But the truth is they have done nothing with there lives.
Ive come to the realization that there so much we can give to this world....
But my generation is blinded by the Lust that this temporary life holds...
It truly pains me....Sometimes I fear the future of our country!!!
But eventually Maturity will hit them... and they will realize what a waste selfulfillment is..........
*N8*

Not here for your entertainment!!!

I read a post just now that moved me to write this blog! It says, "Its okay you dont have to like me....Im not a Facebook status!!!" But sometimes I find myself trying to please everyone! If its not the clothes I wear it the videos I post! Or the songs I sing....As I said on my first blog, we have a habit of loosing our passion or what drives us for the simple fact we want the world to LIKE US!!!
But truth be told; we go to bed each night feeling unfulfilled and digusted with ourselves. Why please the world when at the end of the day I go to bed alone??? Why cant I live life the way it moves me? I Stopped miming because According to many I was too FEMINE!! But I felt good, now I watch my sister as she moves about in her ministry and wonder to myself, Am I letting people determine what I should be doing??? Of course, Sometimes I get soo paranoid on how I walk....And believe me it steals my hearts peace... You may read this and think to yourself what is a young man like this doing thinking like this?? Im just a cautious person! I dont want the world to hate me or find me a bad example! But I realized as I lived my life Ive always been a rebel! All the guys are sleeping around Im a virgin! Everyone is drinking and I never got drunk a day in my life!! Im always in the opposite whim of things!!! Thats why I say tonight who cares if you guys like me or not!!! Im me and no one can change that I love being My loud and funny self!!! *N8*

something gotta change!!!!

Something gotta change I said to myself in bed. As sleep ran away from my eyes!! I hate nights like these where all you think about is how unsatisfied you are with life! Makes you think about all thats wrong. How you've disappointed yourself and how its your own fault why life just SUCKS!! I mean I could write a list of people to blame in the course of my small life! But truth is It's my own fault for what has occured in my life. Every one elses reaction was a result to my actions...(sounds like a chapter from a book:) As I laid in bed; I thought about what I want to be, where I want to go and how I wanna change the world! How I pray for a moment to change and make a difference in this world! I wanna feel like a valide human being! Like I actually used up this time on earth wisely... But I feel like im wasting breath and oxygen on the earths tank... I want to make a difference, but not by recycling or saving water when showering(thats a cowards way of keeping his conscience clear) But I wanna travel the world and give my time and energy on helping the needy!! But Im in Lancaster Pennsylvania, Jobless, and all jacked up..Writing to an audience of none. But maybe the God in heaven would hear me and cause something to happen! Cause something gotta change!!! I know out of all the things I could ask for of my life. I choose to ask to change the world!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah cant help it!!! I was made to mark this world!! I want my descendence to be proud of where they come from! Because I dont even know where I come from.....*N8*

A year ago... This pic was taken, when I didnt know which way was up and Couldnt see that I was  hitting rock bottom!!!*N8*

New begginings

Here I am sitting in this cold living room. I have to admit that I missed the cold weather. One reason is it brings back so many memories from the past, they say that we should never revisit our past. But I have soo many good memories mixed with bad. I know it sounds a bit weird but its true. I think about those text messages and phone calls and how I longed to be with that "mysterious" Person. I also think about the frustrating nights as we fought and I thought the end of the friendship was near...only to find it was another false alarm. Wow how writing these things make me smile, alittle teary eyed if you ask me. Fall, The changing of leaves and seasons....the end to shorts and t shirts and the need for sweaters and hoodies. I think about all the different holidays that just brush by....Thanksgiving,Christmas, New years!! They come by with no warning one after the another.
But now the most exciting chapter of my life is opened, as I begin to blog!!! You all dont know how excited I truly am for this!!! To be honest I really dont want friends and family to follow me...I rather have complete strangers...People who have no idea Who I am! Where theres no one judging me for something they read or heard! But that they simply can just read and listen to the words that flow out of my heart!! I feel like no one listens to what I truly want to say, Sometimes I just dont want to share for fear of what they'll say!!! I turned twenty one a couple of days ago, its a time for all the first and new beginning!! I hope that many may be a fan of my personal thoughts!! I feel very vulnerable but open and I think that necessary for every human bean!! I cant wait to share with you and the world...MY LIFE!!!!!!

Part of Me

As I thought to myself cleaning my brothers room... I have alot to say...I have opinions that actually make sense!!! Sometimes we get soo bussy trying to impress our peers and loved ones that we loose sense of our passion!! Im not the most popular guy in this world!! As in matter a fact I dont think the world would care if I dissappered right as we spesk. But at least I can share with an audience how I feel and what bothers me today in society, in the world and in my personal life. I always had this dream to change the world!!! But truth is I dont know where to start. Well this is a part of me that you guys will hear....By the way my name is Neight:) Nice to me you!!!!!!*N8*