Regret

So this morning I woke up with an urge that I quit honestly regret....I SHAVED MY HEAD...
Okay like most people would say What were you thinking?? Let me explain...
I was overwhelmed with the pressures to always look my best. We had a sweet sixteen in my family to come to but I couldnt get my haircutt. I was really frustrated that my hair was cutt. So I woke up and just decided to shave it. Before I did it my mother asked me many times Nathaniel Are you sure?? My father said to me make sure you know what your gonna do!! But in my minds eye it seemed like something that I should do. As I shaved my head there was no going back. I couldnt magically grow it back or glue it back. I felt good about it...Till my father looked at me with a dissaproving look...
As I went to the ceremony for the sweet sixteen... The embarassment started... Family and friends looked in shock. Some were curtious enough to come by and speak to me in private...
Others made a great disturbance in the sanctuary. Someone said that I was stealing the young laddies night. Another person commented that I was the Main event. As the comments continued I just wanted to dissappear... I wanted the earth to swallow me where I stood!!!!! It would of been just perfect!!! My nerves were getting me and as I tried to get out the tears began to welt up.

The feeling settled in.....REGRET.....Now hair grows back...But it was the fact that I felt the world stood in dissapointment...
As everyone felt comfortable I was a the nights focal point...
Some people in life will always be in the spotlight... And Im definately am one!!! I went home didnt got the dinner. I walked home... As I got home I really just cried and went to sleep....
This was a very vunerable day... Where I realize that I truly am not uninvicible... That I too Have moments where people do get to me... But moments like these is what makes me into a stronger person....